Too hurt to Love
by power31312
Summary: After Reid's wife is shot almost killing her and killing their baby, she sets out to find the man responsible for ruining her life. She no longer had a baby, left Spencer, and the BAU. What will happen when she's kidnapped by the same man and ultimately reunited with her husband. Rated M for violence and maybe some sexual situations later.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline and Brennan's character. This chapter is short but the next few ones will be longer.**

A year ago:

 _Brennan Rossi absentmindedly twirled the ring on her finger as she listened to the team on the other end of the com. They were heading to what they believed to be the address of a serial killer. They hadn't announced it to the public but there was actually two killers. They didn't yet know the who the second participant was._

 _She was sitting the in the county sheriff's office. The small town had only two police officers, the sheriff and a deputy. The town itself had less than 1000 people and had 8 people killed within a two week time spread._

 _Brennan heard Morgan yelling through the com for someone to put their hands up. She smiled, one down. She wanted to be out there with her team, things were harder with Hotch gone, but at the moment she was restricted from doing field work. The only reason she had been allowed to come was to serve as a means of communication between Garcia and the team in the field._

 _"Is Sheriff Jenkins here?"_

 _Brennan turned to face the newcomer looking away from the computer in front of her. She had been asking Garcia to look up a picture of Carl Rutledge, a man who had only lived in the town for a few months before the murders started._

 _"No, I'm sorry, he's out." Brennan examined the man intently. He was tall and thick and seemed like he was trying hard to hide something._

 _"You're one of those FBI agents here to catch that killer, aren't you?"_

 _Brennan didn't answer right away. He gave the appearance of being nice and quizzical but the profiler in her was screaming. There was definitely something off with the man. She just wasn't sure what that was. A lot of people revered killers and wanted to put themselves into investigations where they didn't belong. She reached up and made a show of tucking her hair behind her ear, simultaneously turning on her end of the com._

 _"Yes, I'm an SSA agent with the FBI."_

 _"They let you guys work out of the office in your condition?"_

 _Brennan pursed her lips slightly, her hand automatically resting on her overextended eight month pregnant belly. "I'm strictly here as a liaison, not as an active agent."_

 _"Do you know who has been committing these disgusting crimes?"_

 _Something was off. Most of the time people didn't use words like disgusting to talk about murders. "He's being arrested."_

 _'Brennan, are you okay?' Emily asked over the comlink._

 _"Is he going to go to prison for a long time?" The man asked at the same time._

 _"Not sure," Brennan answered to both of them. "Sheriff Jenkins will probably be back soon if you want to come back later."_

 _"I kind of have a problem I need help with now."_

 _"Is there anything I can do to help with the problem?" Her hand was slowly moving to where her gun was situated on her hip._

 _The computer beeped and suddenly the man's face was on the screen looking back at her._

 _"You knew who I was before I got here." Carl Rutledge stood before her, now pointing a gun at her chest. "Thought you said you got the guy."_

 _"We suspected there were two killers," Brennan answered as she held her hands up. "That information just didn't go to the media, Carl."_

 _'We're on our way, Brennan,' Spencer said in her ear._

 _"Put the gun down, Carl. This isn't smart."_

 _"Keep your hands up and keep your mouth shut." Carl walked forward and pulled her to her feet grabbing her gun from the holster and tossing it across the room._

 _"They're on their way back here now. Run now and you can still get away."_

 _"They won't make it in time." The nice façade was gone and was replaced with the monster that had helped murder eight people._

 _"In time for what, Carl?" Brennan could hear the father of her baby in her ear begging the driver of the car to go faster._

 _"To save your life."_

 _She hears two consecutive shots ring out, one connecting with her stomach and the second going into her chest. She was on the ground, looking at the blood pooling around her. Her baby was going to die. She held her hands protectively over her stomach trying to do what she could to save her daughter's life._

 _The last thing she heard was the door being thrown open and Spencer yelling her name before she blacked out._

Emily watched Reid walk into the office and go straight to his desk. He had become much more withdrawn since he and Brennan had lost the baby a year ago. That loss made her leave him and the department because she couldn't keep working around him. She now worked in the domestic terrorism department of Quantico but last Emily heard she was taking a vacation.

JJ walked into the bull pen and immediately started over to Emily. "We need to talk," she said as soon as she was within earshot.

"What's going on?" Emily asked as she closed the door behind them.

"I tried to talk her out of it," JJ began. "Brennan. She was looking for Carl Rutledge. She got a tip that he was in Washington, she never told me who she was communicating with to find out his location. I begged her to talk to you or Rossi, but she wouldn't. I made her promise to call every day so that I knew she was safe. I stopped hearing from her, but wasn't too concerned until she hit the 48 hour mark. She told me she was meeting up with an old friend so I thought she just lost track of time. I was coming in to talk to you today about everything because like I said it's been 48 hours. On my way in I got this text from Brennan's phone."

Emily took the phone from JJ. The message definitely wasn't from Brennan.

Agents at the BAU. I think you've lost a piece of yourself here in Washington, or at least that's where I found it. Can't guarantee that's where it still is. I had thought it had been destroyed by my hand but was pleased to see it still breathing. I'm going to keep it unless you want it back in which case you better catch me if you can. Tick Tock BAU.

Emily ran a hand over her face. "He won't keep her alive. That's why he wrote tick tock at the end. Does Counter Terrorism know?"

"I came straight to you."

"I'll call and inform them what is going on with their agent. Tell everyone to meet in the conference room in five. We have a case." Emily sighed. "Don't let on to Reid that it's anything involving Brennan. Send Dave in here please."

JJ nodded as she left the office. Emily picked up her phone and dialed counter terrorism, leaving a message for the team lead to call her back when he was in.

"Come in," Emily said as there was a knock on the door and Rossi came in. "Have a seat."

Rossi raised his eyebrows but said nothing as he sat down in front of her desk.

"When's the last time you spoke with Brennan?"

"A week ago. She came over for dinner and told me she was headed to Washington to meet up with some old friends for some time off."

"She went to Washington to look for Rutledge."

Rossi swore. His daughter didn't always use her best judgement in situations. "Is she okay?"

"Rutledge has her, Dave."

Rossi let out a violent string of curses before visibly calming. "Does the kid know yet?"

Emily shook her head. "JJ knows because she kept in contact with Brennan. And now I've told you. I don't know how to tell Spencer."

Rossi pursed his lips. "Let me tell him before we tell the rest of the team. Is this our case?"

Emily stood and walked out of the room with Rossi. "It is now."


	2. Chapter 2

_8 months ago:_

 _Brennan walked into the house and sighed loudly. She had just come from the doctor and finally been given then go ahead to return to work. She didn't allow Spencer to go to her therapy appointments with her. That was her time to talk about her feelings._

 _She leaned her head back against the door before frowning as she heard a noise upstairs. She pushed away from the door and headed up the stairs stopping outside of the room they had planned to use for the nursery. The noises were coming from that room._

 _Brennan opened the door and immediately felt red hot rage overcome her body as she saw Spencer packing up the room. "What are you doing?!"_

 _Spencer turned to look at her. "I'm trying to help. You won't let me in. I thought if we put her things away maybe it could help you to move past this."_

 _"Move past this? Spencer, our daughter was murdered and four months later you want to just pack away her things and forget she ever existed?"_

 _"That's not what I'm trying to do, Brennan."_

 _Brennan moved to the box he was packing and started pulling out stuffed animals and putting them back on the crib. "Just go away, Spencer. What are you even doing home? You should be at work."_

 _"There was no case. I thought I could get this done and then we could have a night together, the two of us and figure things out."_

 _"There is nothing to figure out." Brennan ran a hand through her strawberry blonde hair. "Please go."_

 _"I want to talk. I want to help you."_

 _Brennan moved quickly and pushed him away from her and toward the door of the room. "Go away. Stay away from me and away from Jennifer's things!" Jennifer, their daughter, named after their best friend, lost before she had even been born._

 _She went back to the box and grabbed the bear that had monogrammed letters on it's ear. She clutched the bear to her chest, feeling her tears coming on and sank to the floor beside the box._

 _"Let me help you," Spencer begged as he placed a hand on her shoulder._

 _"Don't touch me." She pulled out of his touch. "Please just go away and leave me alone."_

 _Spencer left the room feeling hopeless. He didn't know how to help his wife. He didn't know how to make her feel even slightly better. He missed his daughter too. The pregnancy had been an accident, neither of them had ever wanted kids, but as her belly grew so did his love and want for his unborn child._

 _He sighed and leaned his head against the closed door as he heard her sobs from inside the room. He laid his hand on the door before he left the house. He would head into the office for a while and give her some space and then try and talk to her when he got home._

 _When he got home that night she was gone. Her clothes were missing and most of Jennifer's things were gone as well. All he found was a note on the table that said, 'I'm sorry, Spencer.'_

Rossi leaned his head into the conference room and looked to Reid. "Hey, kid, can we talk for a moment?"

Spencer frowned at him before he got up from his seat and walked out of the room with Rossi. "They're about to present a case."

"When was the last time you spoke with Brennan?"

Spencer watched the man for a moment before he spoke slowly. "I haven't spoken to Brennan since she walked out of the house. She doesn't answer my calls or my texts. She talks to my mom and JJ, they're the ones who keep me in touch with what's going on with her."

Rossi ran a hand over his face. "Did you know she was in Washington?"

Spencer furrowed his eyes. "No. Mom hasn't mentioned talking to her lately. Why is she in Washington? It's been years since she worked there. "

"She has been looking for Rutledge."

"He has her, doesn't he? That's why you wanted to know when I last spoke to her. Is she our case?"

Rossi nodded. "I thought it was best to talk to you before Emily presented the case to the rest of the team."

Spencer started to respond before he stopped as Will walked into the bullpen and heads toward the two men. "Will."

"I need to talk to JJ about Brennan."

"Is this about Brennan missing?"

"Brennan is missing?"

Spencer examined the man in front of him. He had grown close to Will through JJ, ultimately becoming the godfather of Henry and Michael. It was through Spencer's relationship with the two that Brennan grew very close to them, ultimately thinking of them as a brother and sister to her.

"Why do you need to talk to JJ if you didn't even know she's missing?"

Will looked at him. "It's a long story that I need to tell my wife before discussing with everyone else."

"Let's see what they're discussing," Rossi interrupted as he pointed to the conference room door. "You can come in, Will."

Will followed behind Spencer and Rossi as they made their way back into the conference room. JJ looked at her husband and frowned quizzically. "I need to tell you something about Brennan," he answered her.

JJ nodded as she hit a button on the remote in her hand. A picture of Brennan popped up on the main screen and Garcia gasped.

"Brennan? Oh my God, is she dead?"

"No," JJ shook her head. "She's missing. She headed to Washington under the ploy of seeing some of the old people that she used to work with. In reality, she was searching for Carl Rutledge. I was in contact with her, but I haven't heard from her in a while and I think she might have been abducted by Rutledge."

"Why do we care?"

Spencer's head jerked at the harsh tone, looking in slight shock at Morgan. "We care because she's my wife and a member of this team."

"If I'm not mistaken she walked out on this team and you, Spence. How many times are you going to let people walk out on you and forgive them?"

"She's still my wife."

"She walked out on you, Spence. If she's missing then it's something she needs to deal with or have her new buddies in domestic terrorism deal with. It's not a case for us."

Will moved and stood next to JJ. "She left because she felt like she had to."

Spencer leaned forward onto the table. "What do you mean? She left because we had a fight that day."

"Brennan loves you, Spencer. A fight wouldn't have made her leave. She came over to the house that day and wanted to talk to me. She told me about the fight that you two had and said that while she was putting away the baby's things she got a text message. From Rutledge. He threatened the team. He threatened you." He turned to look at JJ. "I know I should have told you before this, but she made me promise not to before she would even tell me what was wrong. She was scared. This man killed her child and almost killed her and the next thing she knows, the same man is threatening what family she has left."

"She should have came to us," Emily said running a hand over her face. "We could have figured it out."

"I told her to talk to you guys. To talk to Spencer. She was too afraid. She couldn't stand for anything to have happened to you guys because of her. As long as she stayed away she felt that she was doing what she had to in order to keep you guys safe." Will hesitated before he continued. "Rutledge never stopped. He would message her, call her almost daily just to remind her that he was still there waiting. Before JJ told me that she was going to Washington, she sounded like she was coming unhinged. She couldn't handle the taunting anymore. I again told her to talk to you guys and she wouldn't."

"You should have told me sooner," JJ said looking in surprise at her husband. "We could have helped her."

"I should have. You should pull her phone history. There might be some clue in the messages he sent her."

"What hotel was she staying at?" Emily asked JJ.

"The Four Seasons in Seattle."

"Okay," Emily said as she stood up. "Wheels up in 30. Let's go and get our girl back."


	3. Chapter 3

_3 years ago:_

 _Brennan held Spencer's hand under the table on the plane as they listened to JJ present the case to the team. Four triple homicides in a small town all within a few nights of each other. Local law enforcement should have called them sooner._

 _"It's late. When we land we'll go straight to our hotel and get some sleep. We'll do more good on a good night's rest." Hotch told the team as JJ stopped talking._

 _"On that note, Spencer and I have something to announce."_

 _The team looked at the couple expectantly._

 _"So, Spencer asked me to marry him," Brennan said as she glanced at her fiancé. "And I told him yes."_

 _She looked back at the team as she heard a chorus of congratulations. Reid lifted her hand and kissed the back of it, smiling at her._

 _"When will the wedding be?"_

 _"Wedding?" Brennan asked looking at JJ. "No wedding."_

 _"No wedding?"_

 _"No wedding," Reid confirmed. "Though it'll probably be a while before we go up to the court house. We want to try living together first because statistics show that people who live together before getting married are less likely to divorce than those that wait._

 _"I'm sure they know the statistics. How long before we land?" Brennan asked yawning._

 _"About twenty minutes," Hotch answered her._

 _Brennan nodded as she started to flip through the file in front of her. She kept looking at the pictures of the victims, not even noticing that the plane was landed and stopped._

 _"Bren?"_

 _Brennan looked at Spencer as he said her name. "What?"_

 _"We're here," he said gesturing to the rest of the team leaving the plane._

 _"Of course," Brennan said as she got up and followed Spencer off of the plane._

 _Spencer watched her in the car as they drove to the hotel and up to their hotel room. He knew she had a habit of getting emotionally involved in cases, especially ones that involved children._

 _He watched as she pulled off her shirt, her light red hair contrasting against the paleness of her skin, blending into the bright red bra she wore. He could stare at her all day. He never thought that someone like her would ever love him, hell, want to marry him. Her pants slid down her legs and he smiled slightly at her mismatched purple panties. They had been together for two years but every time he saw her, it was like the first time all over again._

 _Spencer walked forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her shoulder before resting his chin on it. "What are you thinking about?"_

 _Brennan kissed his cheek. "These people let 12 people get killed, 9 of which maybe could have been saved if they had only called us sooner rather than letting their ego take control. 5 children who barely had a chance to live. It just makes me mad."_

 _"Statistically, most triple homicides…"_

 _"I don't want to hear statistics, Spence," Brennan said as she pulled away from him and turned to face him. "They should have called."_

 _"Yeah, they should have," Spencer agreed. "You haven't been sleeping again."_

 _Brennan bit her lip before she went and dropped onto the hotel room bed. "The dreams are back."_

 _"The ones about your mother." It wasn't a question._

 _"It's been 25 years, Spence. They're never going to catch him."_

 _Spencer sat beside her on the bed. "They will catch him or we will, Bren. Rossi has never stopped looking for the man that killed your mother."_

 _Brennan looked at her best friend and fiance. "My father might be looking for him, but it's only because he's the one that ultimately reunited us."_

 _Brennan was seven when her mother was murdered while she was sleeping in the next room. She woke up and went to wake her mother because it was her birthday and found her mother's body. She had been raped and murdered. Brennan never heard a sound and never forgave herself for not waking up and saving her mother._

 _She went into foster care for two years and when she was nine, she thought that she had found a family that was going to keep her. That was until her social worker had somehow found him. David Rossi, her father. Her mother had never told him about her and as soon as he knew, he took her in and raised her how it all should have been. She ultimately followed in his footsteps and became an agent of the BAU._

 _"I love you," Spencer said to combat her long moment of silence._

 _Brennan looked at him and smiled. "I love you too." She leaned forward and kissed him. At Spencer's slight moan, she deepened the kiss and pushed him onto his back, moving over his body._

 _"We're supposed to be resting," Spencer said breaking away from her and looking up at her with raised eyebrows. "You know we can solve cases better when we've had a good nights sleep."_

 _Brennan kissed him again, her hands going to his shirt and unbuttoning it, pulling it open as she ran her hands along his chest. "Sleep is overrated, Spence."_

 _"Highly," Spencer said in agreement as he flipped them over, his lips finding hers again._

"Hey, Spence?"

Spencer looked up at JJ as she spoke. "What? I'm sorry."

JJ watched the man for a second. "We're going to find her you know. Find her and bring her home."

Spencer glanced over at Rossi, who was sitting at the back of the plane looking through the pages of texts that Garcia had managed to pull from the phone company. He looked back at JJ, a perplexed look on his face. "Five years, Jayje. We were together for five years. Why did she feel like she couldn't bring this up to me? Bring it up to us? We're her family."

JJ moved so that she could sit beside him. "We're her family and she was trying to protect us the best way that she knew how. Her mother was killed and she couldn't protect her, so she felt that this was the way to protect us."

"This guy knows things about her. About us. Those messages have private things about our life together that no one else could know."

"He's been following her. Something about her surviving his shooting has made him similar to a stalker. He has to know what she's doing at all times. She's known for months that he has been watching her for a while."

Spencer shook his head. "None of this makes sense, Jayje. The things he said a lot of it happened before her original shooting. There's a comment in there about how our court house wedding ended up being an actual wedding in the park. How would he know that? Only you guys and my mom were invited."

JJ pursed her lips as she heard the pilot tell them to buckle up for landing. "So what do you think is going on?"

"I don't know. It's all very weird." He looked out the window of the plane, his mind going over the messages on those papers.

"She always asked about you. Whenever we talked she always wanted to know how you were doing. She does love you, Spence." JJ looked down at the ring still on his finger. "I really hope that when we find her, you guys can work this out."

"If we find her alive."

"We will." JJ said as the plane landed on the tarmac.

Emily, Spencer, and JJ walked up to the reservation desk of the hotel, both of them pulling out their badges and showing them to the clerk. Morgan and Rossi had gone to where Brennan used to work to see if she had been in contact with her old partner.

"FBI agents Prentiss, Reid, and Jareau. We're looking for a woman who has been renting a room here."

"Name?" The clerk asked looking at the badges.

"Brennan Rossi."

The clerk hit a few keys on her computer before shaking her head. "I don't have a Brennan Rossi in the system. Maybe she was staying at a different hotel?"

"No, it was definitely this hotel," Emily said with a frown. "Can you check the last couple of days and see if maybe she already checked out?"

The clerk looked back at her computer and started searching the name for the past couple of days. She shook her head and looked back at Emily. "There's no Rossi in my system at all."

"Reid," Spencer said from beside Emily. "Try Brennan Reid."

The clerk hit a few keys on her keyboard and looked back at them. "I have a Reid in room 314." She made a keycard and gave it to them. "Her check out isn't scheduled for another week."

"Thank you," Emily said as she took the card from the clerk and the three of them headed up to her room on the third floor. "How does she afford something like this on our salary?"

"Brennan and I saved a lot," Spencer said as they stopped outside of her door. "Plus she has family money from her mother and Rossi. She's not usually this extravagant though."

Emily looked away from him and opened the door to the room. She walked inside first, "Brennan?"

"Bren?" Spencer said from behind her as him and JJ followed her into the hotel room.

"She's not here," Emily said after a quick search of the room. "None of her stuff is here, but the clerk said she hasn't checked out yet."

Spencer walked to the bed and picked up the bear that was placed neatly between the pillows. "She didn't take her stuff voluntarily."

"You know that from a teddy bear?"

Spencer moistened his lips before he turned to face the women in the room. "This was our daughter's bear. She wouldn't leave this behind unless she was forced to or someone else packed up her stuff and left this behind as a message to us."

"J.A.R?"

"Her initials. Her name was Jennifer Alexis Reid," Spencer shook his head. "What if they're not even still in Seattle or Washington? What if we never find her?"

"We will," Emily said as she moved forward and pulled him into a hug. "Come on lets see if Morgan and Dave have found anything."

Spencer nodded as he allowed JJ to steer him out of the room. It was clear to him that Rutledge was trying to send a message. The only question was what was the message.


	4. Chapter 4

_5 years ago, Christmas Eve:_

 _JJ looked over from her conversation with Will to see Brennan sitting by herself at a table, staring out onto the dance floor of the building that the Bureau was renting in order to throw it's annual Christmas party. She muttered something to Will before she made her way across the room and slid into a seat next to Brennan. She followed the red-head's gaze and sees Emily and Spencer dancing on the floor._

 _"Why don't you go and dance with him?"_

 _Brennan turned and looked at JJ. "I'm sorry?"_

 _"You're staring awfully hard at him."_

 _"I don't know what you're talking about," Brennan said as she pushed her hair behind her shoulder._

 _JJ put her hand on top of Brennan's. "It's not hard to see how you feel for him, Brennan, and there's nothing wrong with your feelings." She looked out at Spencer and Emily again. "How long?"_

 _Brennan sighed deeply. "I don't even know when it started, JJ. One day I just looked at him differently. It's odd because he's got to be the most incredibly awkward guy that I've ever known and for some reason I can't get my mind off of him."_

 _You're infatuated."_

 _"I'm something," Brennan agreed._

 _JJ smiled at her. "You both deserve to be happy."_

 _"There are all kinds of rules against fraternization, especially for members of the same team, JJ. Besides, I'm sure he doesn't even think of me that way."_

 _JJ let out a barking laugh. "Come on, Brennan, even you can't be that blind. That boy looks at you like he's dying of dehydration and you're the last cup of water around."_

 _Brennan frowned at her. "Then why hasn't he made a move yet."_

 _"Because it's Spence and he's awkward. He's afraid of rejection."_

 _"Everyone's afraid of rejection."_

 _"Will you stop arguing with me and go and dance with him? Maybe then he'll know that it's okay to ask you out."_

 _Brennan looked at her friend and fellow teammate before she nodded and got up, heading out onto the dance floor. She headed straight for Spencer and Emily, tapping the woman lightly on the shoulder. "Mind if I cut in?"_

 _"Go right ahead," Emily said with a laugh. "I need another drink." She walked off to head to the bar where Morgan had set up camp._

 _"Can I have this dance, Dr. Reid?" Brennan asked as the music turned to a slow beat._

 _Spencer nodded as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his body against hers. His arms wrapped around her waist as they swayed to the music playing around them. He couldn't take his eyes off of hers. Her green eyes were almost blinding, they were sparkling so bright. She wore a long black evening gown that hugged every curve on her body._

 _He could remember the exact moment that he realized he had started falling for her. They had just discovered the body of a little girl that they had been looking for for over a week and she had closed herself off from everyone, except him. She let him in and spoke to him about her feelings, letting him and no one else see her cry. She was very hard in the field. She didn't show emotion. It was one of the things that made her a good FBI agent. That day changed everything._

 _"I thought that Emily was going to hog you all night."_

 _Spencer's lip quirked slightly. "Maybe I was just passing the time until someone else came along."_

 _"Who were you waiting for, Dr. Reid?"_

 _You. That word hung on the end of his tongue but before he could say it a shot rang out across the crowded hall. Spencer felt the bullet go past his face and saw the line of blood appear across Brennan's cheek before impacting with the agent who was dancing behind her._

 _Spencer didn't have time to think about his reaction before he pushed Brennan to the floor and covered her body with his own as more bullets started firing followed by screams._

 _As quickly as the shooting started, it all stopped. Spencer lifted his head and looked around the crowded room. Everyone had dropped to the floor except for one person. Morgan was standing next to the bar area holding his gun in front of him, pointed at the fallen subject._

 _"Amy," Brennan said as she pushed Spencer off of her and knelt beside the woman who had been shot behind her. She felt for a pulse on the woman's neck before sighing as she didn't feel one._

 _"Honey," Spencer said to her quietly as suddenly there was a lot of noise and bumbling around as people tried to make sense of what just happened. "You need to get your cheek looked at. You're bleeding."_

 _Brennan put her hand to her face and pulled it back, looking at the blood that coated her fingers. "What happened, Spencer?"_

 _"I don't know, but we have to get you looked at." Spencer pulled her to her feet and tucked an arm around her waist._

 _"I don't need to get looked at," Brennan protested. "Can you just take me home?"_

 _Spencer looked at her before he stopped at the door. "Stay here a minute." He left her side and her eyes followed him as he walked over to where the rest of their team was gathered. She felt Hotch's eyes on her, but she didn't stop looking at Spencer. He headed back to her and wrapped an arm around her again. "Hotch said it's okay for us to leave, but you're going to have to let me clean that cut up."_

 _"Okay," Brennan said quietly._

 _"Alright, Hotch, well, let us know if anything changes," Reid said to his boss as he watched Brennan sitting on the bed staring at the wall. "I don't know how she is. She seems like she's in shock right now. Okay, I'll call if that happens." He hung up the phone and moved back into the room, sitting beside Brennan on the bed._

 _"That was Hotch?"_

 _Spencer nodded as he picked up a wet washcloth. "This is going to hurt," he said quietly as he uses it to clean the blood off of her cheek._

 _"What happened, Spencer?"_

 _"The man was Amy's estranged husband. He came there with the intention of killing her and figured he'd take out as many agents as he could. Only three of the shots connected and Amy was the only fatality."_

 _Brennan shook her head as she took in that information. She remembered Amy talking about how her husband had cheated on her because she was never home and how he blamed the bureau for taking her away from him. She worked in counter-terrorism and was one of the nicest people that Brennan had ever met._

 _"He knew it was a suicide mission."_

 _Spencer nodded as he placed butterfly bandages over her cheek. "He knew there was no way that he was going to make it out of there." He pulled his hands away from her and gave her a half smile. "I guess I should go home and let you get some sleep."_

 _Brennan reached out and grabbed his hand as he started to get up. "Please stay, Spencer, I don't want to be alone tonight."_

 _Spencer sat back down beside her and pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on top of her head. She was shaking in his arms and he tried to pull her closer to him. When he saw her start to bleed he had thought the worse. He thought that she had gotten shot and was going to die in front of him. Thankfully it was just a bullet graze, but others hadn't been so lucky._

 _"Spencer?" Brennan asked as she pulled away slightly and looked up at him._

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"Will you kiss me?"_

 _Spencer furrowed his brow slightly. "What?"_

 _Brennan reached out and touched his cheek before running a hand through his hair. "I want you to kiss me."_

 _"You've just gone through a trauma, Brennan. It's normal that you're going to want to eliminate the way you're feeling and you're fear by replacing it with other feelings, but it's not real. You know statistically…" His words are cut off as Brennan pressed her lips to his own._

 _Brennan moaned into the kiss and pressed her body against Spencer's trying to get as close to him as she could. She broke the kiss and looked at Spencer before gasping as he aggressively kissed her again, his hands moving to her arms and shoulders before finally cupping her face._

 _"This isn't me trying to find a way to cope," Brennan said as she broke the kiss. "This is me taking what I've wanted for a long time."_

 _Spencer searched her eyes before he smiled at her and pressed his lips to hers again. He couldn't get enough of her lips against his own. Of her body pressed tightly against his own to where he could her heart beating against his own. He didn't realize how much he wanted this, how much he needed it._

 _Brennan pulled away from the kiss and stood up. She smiled at Spencer as she reached behind her and unzipped her dress. Spencer watched as she slipped the material off of her arms and let it pool at the bottom of her feet. She stood before him in a mismatched blue bra and orange panties._

 _"They say that women who don't wear matching undergarments are smarter than those that do because they're not following the norm. They have their own thoughts and essentially most of them are geniuses."_

 _"They only genius here is you," Brennan said as she straddled his waist. "And I'd much rather only talk about my panties if you're pulling them off of me." She doesn't give him time to respond as she kissed him again, tangling her hands in his hair as she moved her waist on top of his._

 _"You're killing me," Spencer whispered against her lips as he rested his forehead against hers. "You're so incredibly sexy."_

 _"Spencer?"_

 _"Hmm?"_

 _Brennan took his hand in her own and led it down to the apex between her thighs. "I want you to touch me. I want you to make love to me. Fuck, Spence, I just want you."_

 _Spencer moaned as he kissed her, standing up and turning them before dropping her back onto the bed. "Take those off," he ordered her._

 _Brennan raised her eyebrows as she looked at him, but she complied with what he said removing the rest of her clothing and laying on the bed naked before him._

 _Spencer stared at her for the longest time. Her pale body was littered with freckles from head to toe. She was skinny enough to where you could make out her ribs and he made a mental note to make sure she ate more than once a day, which was her usual._

 _"Are you just going to stare at me all night?"_

 _"It's tempting," Spencer answered her honestly. "It's so tempting."_

 _Brennan smiled as she sat up and hooked her thumbs under his belt loop, pulling him against her before her hands trailed up to his tie. She quickly had the material off of him and worked on his shirt pulling the fabric open and pushing it down his arms._

 _"I'm not sure my body is as fun to look at as yours is."_

 _"It's perfect," Brennan answered without hesitation as she placed his lips on his stomach just above his bellybutton, smiling to herself as his muscles clenched. "Do you want me, Spencer Reid?"_

 _Spencer kissed her deeply, running his hand through her locks of hair. "There is no one that I have ever wanted more in my life."_

 _"No regrets?" Brennan whispered against his lips._

 _"I would never have regrets about you," Spencer answered as his lips found hers again._

 _They made love that night until the early light of dawn was starting to peak through the window and both of them were too exhausted to do anything but sleep_.

"Wake up."

Brennan opened her eyes as the harsh voice made its way into her subconscious. "God, Rutledge, can't even let a woman sleep in peace?"

"I think you've slept enough."

"Yes, let me thank you for those two hours or sleep a day you give me," Brennan answered as she watched the man pacing in front of her.

Rutledge stopped pacing and looked at her. "Sleep deprivation is a very well established torture technique. Why do you think so many parents go off the deep end that first year, but then again, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Brennan took a deep breath as the loss of her daughter hit her again. She pulled against the chains holding her to the bed, hissing as the metal rubbed against her already raw skin.

"Why are you doing this, Rutledge? What do you hope to accomplish?"

"I don't want to do anything but reunite you with your husband."

Brennan furrowed her brow as she looked at Rutledge. "I haven't spoken to Spencer in months. He's not going to come here looking for me."

Rutledge tilted his head as he examined her. "That's where you're wrong. You see I have access to your phone and all your contacts. All of those patsy's messages to you begging you to come home. I made damn sure your team knew exactly where you are."

Brennan cursed as she pulled at the chains again. "Rutledge, they have nothing to do with this, just leave them alone."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

"Rutledge!" Brennan cursed as she resigned herself back onto the bed. "Please stop this. You have me, they are of no importance to you."

Rutledge smiled as he looked at her. "I know you want to see him one last time. I know you want to say goodbye to him before I put a bullet in your head. You see this time there can be no mistakes. I don't know how you lived before, but that won't happen this time. I was so angry when I saw the newspaper articles about how an FBI agent miraculously survived two life threatening gunshot wounds and was reunited with her husband after losing their unborn child."

Brennan clenched her jaw. "You shot me in the stomach to make sure that if I did survive, she wouldn't. You're nothing but a pathetic little child murderer. Those people in Sumas, did that make you feel powerful?" She scoffed at the look on his face. "You're nothing, Rutledge, just another sack of shit that my team is going to put down like the rabid dog that you are."

Rutledge pursed his lips. "You have a big mouth for someone that is going to be dead shortly." He turned behind him and hit a button on the TV.

Brennan frowned as she realized that it was the footage from her hotel room. Her eyes went straight to the bear sitting in between the pillows on the bed.

"There we go," Rutledge said as he watched the three team members enter the room on the footage. "Told you they would come for you. Be good while I'm gone, poppet. I'll have a nice surprise for you when I get back."

"I swear to God, Rutledge, I will kill you if you hurt them!" Brennan yelled as he left the room. She fell back onto the bed and her eyes went to the screen watching as Spencer picked up the bear and held it to his chest. "Please just go home, baby," she whispered softly.


	5. Chapter 5

_A year ago:_

 _Brennan was covered in blood. It was pooled around her on the floor, coating her clothes and making her hair a darker red that usual. Spencer was kneeling next to her, his hands over the shot in her chest._

 _"Stay with me, Brennan!" Spencer yelled as Morgan led the paramedics to her._

 _"What do we have?" An EMT asked kneeling beside Brennan_

 _"29 year old, double GSW to the chest and stomach," Morgan answered._

 _"How long ago?"_

 _"Five minutes at most."_

 _"No!" Spencer exclaimed as the other paramedic tried to push him out of the way._

 _"Reid," Morgan said as he grabbed the man's arm and pulled him away from his wife. "You have to let them do their job."_

 _"That is my wife, Morgan."_

 _"I know, pretty boy," Morgan said to this friend. "But you can't help her right now. They can."_

 _Spencer slumped against Morgan as he watched the EMTs set up an IV and start to push fluids._

 _"How far along is the pregnancy?"_

 _"She's 37 weeks," Spencer answered the man as they loaded her onto the stretcher. He noticed the two paramedics exchange a look. "What was that? Why are you making that face?"_

 _"We're not doctors, we can't give you any information."_

 _"What's wrong with my daughter?!"_

 _"Reid," Morgan said in his ear. "Let them do their jobs."_

 _Spencer climbed into the ambulance behind the paramedics. "Get the rest of the team and get them to the hospital."_

 _"I will," Morgan said as he shut the doors and the ambulance drove off._

 _Spencer was pacing the OR floor when the rest of the team showed up at the hospital. JJ immediately went to him and wrapped her arms around her friend._

 _"How is she?" JJ asked as she pulled back._

 _"She's in surgery," Spencer answered monotone. "When she gets out of surgery, if she gets out of surgery, I have to tell her that our baby is probably dead."_

 _"I'm so sorry, Spence," JJ said as she hugged him again._

 _Spencer pushed her away and moved over to the window, putting his hands on the windowsill and leaning on it. "Who was this guy?"_

 _Emily shrugged. "Carl Rutledge. He's lived here in Washington his whole life going between Tacoma and Seattle, Bellingham, and Sumas. We had no reason to suspect him until it was too late."_

 _Spencer pursed his lips before he turned to face Emily. "You're team leader. I'm telling you now that if Brennan dies. I quit. I'm walking away and I won't look back."_

 _Dave watches his son-in-law. He didn't bother saying anything to him because he knew that nothing he said at the moment would help the situation any. "Rutledge was gone when you got there?"_

 _Morgan nodded. "We thought that taking care of Brennan was the more pressing matter."_

 _"It was the right choice," Dave told him knowing that Morgan was having doubts about not going after Rutledge._

 _"Has anyone told Garcia?"_

 _"I called her," Morgan responded. "She's getting on a plane."_

 _"She can't do anything here," Spencer replied. "None of you can, you guys should be out looking for the man that tried to kill Brennan rather than just sitting here on your hands!" Spencer bit out as he punched the wall._

 _"Spence," JJ said as she took his hand in her own. "The police are looking for Rutledge. We need to be here for you and for Brennan when she wakes up."_

 _"If she wakes up."_

 _"She will," she said as she pulled him into a seat._

 _"Rossi? Brennan Rossi?" A doctor asked as he walked out into the waiting room._

 _"Us," JJ said as her and Spencer stood again._

 _"We managed to stabilize, Mrs. Rossi. The bullet tore through her left atrium and we repaired the valve."_

 _"What about the baby?"_

 _"The bullet tore through the infant. We unfortunately had to do a cesarean and deliver the baby as a stillborn. Mrs. Rossi…"_

 _"Reid. Her last name is Reid."_

 _"My apologies. Mrs. Reid is going to have a long road of recovery ahead of her. The bullet that pierced her stomach is in too difficult of a place to try and recover. It could stay lodged there forever, or it can become unlodged and travel, however, right now we feel the best course of action is to leave it where it's at. The nurse will tell you when she's awake and you can go and see her."_

 _"What about my daughter?" Spencer asked. "Can I see my daughter?"_

 _The doctor hesitated for a moment. "We can arrange for you to see the infant. Let the nurses know when you're ready."_

 _Spencer nodded as he sat down again as Dave thanked the doctor._

"Did you find out anything from the ex-partner?"

The team were all assembled around a table in the restaurant of the hotel that they were staying in. Most of them were eating, but Spencer was just sitting there staring at his team members.

Morgan shrugged. "You mean her ex-lover."

"That's not important," Spencer said crassly. He knew that she had a thing going with her old partner before she moved to the BAU. That was water under the bridge. "Did he have any information about Brennan?"

"He said that they met up for dinner on Tuesday where she brought up that she was trying to find Rutledge. She wanted him to look in their systems and see if he had any information that he could share with her. He told her he would look the next day and then they uh….they went back to his place, kid."

Spencer took a deep breath before he shook his head. "That doesn't matter, Brennan and I are separated she can take whatever lover she wants to. What happened after they went to his place."

"Well, he didn't go into details, but I would assume they slept together."

Spencer gave Morgan a droll look. "I mean after that, Morgan."

"He said that he woke up the next morning and she was already gone. She left a number that was to a disposable cell for him to call. After he hadn't heard back from her for two days, he brought it up to his captain, but the captain apparently hasn't felt it was important enough to consider her a missing person yet."

"And he won't until there is without a doubt evidence that she is missing."

The team turned at the new voice and all a sudden there were hugs and all going around as Hotcher was the voice behind them.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer asked as he broke away from the hug. "I thought you were enjoying the stay at home dad life."

"I love the stay at home dad life, but this is a friend. Someone very close to me, so I came in as a consultant to help find her."

"We're glad to have you here," Dave said sincerely.

"So what do we have?"

JJ handed him the file. "There are text messages and phone call records or Rut/ ledge to her for the months leading up before the abduction. A lot of them are about very personal things about her and Spencer's life. Like certain things they had for dinner, one very graphic text about an intimate moment between the two of them. A lot of them calling her a failure as a mother before she couldn't protect her daughter." JJ ran a hand through her hair. "A lot of it is hard to read. He says what he wants to do with her, including rape and sodomy and things that really shouldn't be thought about."

"What did the hotel search come up?"

"Just had the bear with our daughter's initials monogrammed in it as well as her gun and credentials."

Spencer looked down as his phone beeped. He looked at the text message before looking at the team.

"What is it, Spencer?"

Spencer handed the phone to JJ who read the message with a sigh.

 **Husband, husband on the wall. Who do you miss most of all? Your beautiful blushing bride waiting on the side or maybe your darling mother a trusted other?**

 **They both are with me now, call and check and darling Helena, well she didn't pass the check. One, two, three, the clocks tick tick. Don't wait too long to make your pick.**

JJ scrolled down to look at the pictures. One of Brennan tied naked to a bed and another of Diane tied to a chair in another room.

"Spence."

"Fuck this, I'm finding this asshole," Spencer bit out as he left the table


	6. Chapter 6

_6 years ago:_

 _Spencer frowned as he listened to the conversation between JJ and Morgan. They were discussing the new team member that they were getting that day. No one had any information on the new agent, not even Garcia, which was weird._

 _"There's always been seven members of the team," Reid commented injecting himself into the conversation. "Why do we have a need for a new member?"_

 _"Apparently this agent is known for being one of the best in the field for crimes against children."_

 _"There's only a small handful of agents who make their whole life focused around crimes against kids."_

 _"About thirty of us last time I checked," a voice said from behind Spencer. "But don't worry, I'm very proficient in other areas as well."_

 _Spencer pursed his lips before he turned to face the voice. His breath hitched slightly as he saw the tall, slender, redhead standing before him. She had green eyes with a light sprinkle of freckles around the creases of her eyes and her mouth._

 _"We weren't doubting your proficiency."_

 _"I'm sure." The woman said with a smile before she held out her hand. "I'm Brennan Rossi."_

 _"Rossi? As in…"_

 _"David Rossi's daughter, yes. No, I'm not as rich as him or as famous. That's how I hope to keep it." Brennan looked at the man standing before her. He was so thin she thought maybe a strong burst of wind was going to knock him over. She knew from stories from her father that this would be Spencer Reid. A child genius, the youngest SSA ever brought into the bureau. "Hello, Spencer Reid."_

 _"You know my name?"_

 _"My dad talks about you guys a lot," she said before she looked beyond him. "Jennifer Jareau and Derek Morgan."_

 _"Your father never really mentioned you."_

 _"Yeah that sounds like him. It's not because he's embarrassed of me or anything, it's just the way he is. Rossi likes to keep his private life private."_

 _"So why Quantico?"_

 _"I needed a change of scenery and Rossi said that you guys could use someone who was good with child cases. Next thing I know, I'm on a plane here." Brennan looked down and noticed she was still holding hands with Spencer. She quickly pulled her hand back and stuffed her hands into her pockets._

 _"Brennan!"_

 _Brennan turned and saw her dad come out of his office. "I'll catch you guys later," she said as she headed up the stairs and followed him into his office._

 _Morgan walked up to stand beside Reid. "Damn those fraternization rules."_

 _Spencer turned to look at him. "What?"_

 _"That is one nice piece of pie there."_

 _"She's a member of our team. She deserves our respect."_

 _Morgan smirked slightly. "And she'll get it, but I'm not the one who just held hands with her for five minutes," he said as he went and sat down at his desk._

 _JJ nudged Spencer with her shoulder. "Ignore him."_

 _"There's nothing to ignore. She's just another woman." Spencer sat down at his desk and tried to ignore the urge to look back up at Rossi's office where Brennan was inside._

Brennan sat up on the bed as the door opened. Rutledge had finally unchained her from the bed and had given her a shirt to cover up with. She stood quickly as Diana was pushed into the room before the door slammed shut again.

"Diana!" Brennan exclaimed as she got up and went to the woman's side. She immediately began to look her over to make sure she wasn't hurt anywhere. "Why are you here? Where is Helena?"

"How have you been, Brennan? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever. Spencer misses you, you know."

Brennan sat her down on the bed. "Spencer and I are separated right now, Diana. I talk to you almost every day. I'm sorry I haven't been by to see you."

"I know, I know, you and Spencer are off having adventures every day. That's why I was so surprised when Helena said that he sent us plane tickets to come to Seattle and meet up with him. I mean he knows how much I hate flying."

"Spencer sent you tickets?"

"That's what Helena said. Where is Helena? Where are we? Is this your house now, Brennan? You should come back to the apartment. I miss you."

Brennan kissed her mother-in-law's forehead. "I miss you too, Diana. This isn't my house. Someone is holding us captive."

"Oh."

Brennan frowned slightly at the older woman. "Oh?"

"Well, I know that Spencer will find us and get us out and it'll all be okay again. Where is Jennifer at, Brennan? She needs a safe place to go when her parents are out of town."

Brennan took Diana's hand in her own. "We've told you, Diana, Jennifer was born stillborn at 8 months."

"No!" Diana yelled suddenly. "No, you had her. I remember seeing her."

"You saw pictures of her, baby." Brennan kissed her forehead again. "You never actually saw Jennifer."

Diana sat down on the bed and started to cry. "But why? Why would she die at 8 months? What did you do?! What did you do to make my son lose his baby?"

"Let's just try and figure out how to get out of here," Brennan said before standing in front of the woman as the door opened again.

"Talk to us, baby girl," Morgan said as he answered the phone call from Garcia.

"As much as I don't want to say this you need to pull up this website on the screen."

Morgan walked over and typed in the address she gave them, stepping back as it showed a live feed of Brennan and the abducter.

Spencer stood up and walked up to the screen. "Mom, Brennan."

"This isn't for you, pretty Brennan," Rutledge said on the screen.

Brennan continued to hold her ground, standing firm in front of Diana. "Let her go, Rutledge. You have me. I'm a SSA of the FBI, I'm worth a lot more to you than she is."

"Exactly, so why are you protecting her?"

Brennan glanced behind her at Diana. "Because I love her."

"Love doesn't exist," Rutledge bit out as he moved quickly and stabbed Brennan with a cattle prod.

Brennan cried out and fell to her knees. "Don't touch me, Diana," she said to Spencer's mom as she waited for the jolts of electricity to stop going through her body. Once her body calmed down from the voltage she looked back up at Rutledge. "What are you hoping to accomplish?"

Rutledge watched as she got to her feet again. "Accomplish? I plan to take out you and everyone you ever cared about?"

"Why? I don't even know who you are."

Rutledge shocked her again with the prod. This time it took longer for her to recover and she staggered a little as she got back to her feet. "You don't know who I am? I was never important enough for you to try to learn about was I?" He touched her again with the edge of the prod.

Brennan cried out and this time fell all the way over.

Spencer put a hand over his mouth, trying to keep his anger in check as he watched the man torturing his wife. "Is this live, Garcia?"

"Very much so."

"Can't you get an IP address?"

"I'm trying, Brains, but it's bouncing all around."

"Come on, baby," Spencer mumbled as he watched Brennan stand up again.

"Who are you?" Brennan asked as she kept facing the man down.

"When I was nine I saw a little girl in the grocery store. Beautiful red hair, the most amazing green eyes that I ever saw. My dad…my dad saw her mother. A blonde, dark eyes, such an unusual trait." He hit her again with the prod watching as she fell to the ground. "All you have to do is stand aside and the pain can stop. Let me get her."

Brennan forced herself back to her feet, staggering and holding onto the bed post. "I can take it."

Rutledge laughed as he hit her with it again, this time holding it against her skin and letting the electricity flow through her for a while before finally pulling it away. "You think you can take it, Brennan. I'm going to take such pleasure in making you watch as I kill every single one of the people you love." He smirked at Diana before he turned and left the room.

"Brennan," Spencer muttered as she still hadn't moved after the last jolt went through her. He watched as his mom knelt beside her and turned her over. Brennan opened her eyes and he felt a sigh of relief so big he had to grip the table for support.

"No matter what, Diana," Brennan said to the woman beside her. "You always stay behind me. Don't get involved. Do not let him touch you. Do not let him separate us, if he tries you kick him and you run. You run as fast as you can."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me," Brennan said as she pulled herself up onto the bed.

"Sleep for a little while," Diana told her as she moved her shirt and looked at the burn marks etched into Brennan's skin. "I'm here watching over you."

"I'm supposed to protect you."

"Sleep, Brennan."

Spencer turned to face the rest of the team as his mom soothed his wife to sleep. "We have to find them. He's going to kill Brennan."

"It sounds like he wants to make Brennan suffer. He'll torture her, but he won't kill her just yet."

JJ frowned as she looked around the table. "He mentioned her mom, her mom was murdered when she was seven. I think we need to go back and look at that case and maybe it might help us to figure out why Rutledge is so obsessed with Brennan. What happened in Sumas…I don't think it was an accident. I think he purposely sought her out."

Spencer turned back around to face the screen looking at the two most important people in his life.


	7. Chapter 7

_4 years ago:_

 _Brennan sighed as she looked at Spencer. They had this argument at least once a week and nothing ever changed. Spencer wanted to tell the team about them and Brennan didn't. She wasn't ready to tell everyone about her personal life and she wasn't ready to have to transfer to another division, possibly another city. The team needed Spencer, they didn't need her._

 _"We've been together a little over a year, Bren, I don't like keeping this from them."_

 _"If they know then we'll be forced to separate or I'm going to end up back in a police department somewhere back on child abduction cases."_

 _"You like working child abduction cases."_

 _"No one likes to work child abduction cases, Spence. I work them because I'm good at them."_

 _Spencer stuffed his hands in his pockets as he looked at his girlfriend. "Brennan, we don't keep secrets from the team."_

 _"I'm not ready," Brennan argued as she picked up her phone as a text came over it._

 _"Well, I am. At the very least I'm going to tell Hotch."_

 _"Don't you dare tell Hotch," Brennan ordered as she threw her hands up and subsequently her phone went flying from them and flew at Spencer._

 _Spencer ducked just in time to have the phone hit the wall behind his head. "Did you just throw that at me?"_

 _"No, I didn't throw it at you," Brennan bit out as she got up and picked up her phone, sighing at the cracked screen. "I'm going home to my apartment because obviously we're not going to come to an agreement with this tonight and I'm not in the mood to argue."_

 _"Brennan." Spencer tried to call out to her before dropping onto his bed as he hears the door to his apartment slam. It was going to be a long night._

 _Brennan used her key to open the door to Spencer's apartment and sighed as she walked inside. They had to be at the office soon, but she didn't want to go in while they were fighting. She could smell breakfast cooking and walked into the kitchen, frowning as she sees Spencer cooking and wearing a baseball helmet._

 _"What are you doing?"_

 _"I figured we could have some breakfast before work," Spencer answered as he pulled some pancakes off of the stove._

 _"And the helmet?"_

 _Spencer's lip quirked. "I borrowed it from Morgan for protection, just in case any phones decided to go flying across the room again."_

 _Brennan laughed as she walked across the room to him. "I love you," she told him as she wrapped her arms around his neck._

 _"I love you too," Spencer replied as he leaned down and kissed her._

 _Brennan reached up and gripped the helmet before she pulled it off his head and tossed it across the floor. "I don't think you need that for this."_

 _"And what is this?"_

 _Brennan smirked as she nimbly worked at unbuttoning his pants, kissing him to cut off any complaints that he might have._

 _"We really don't have time for this and breakfast," Spencer said against her lips._

 _"Breakfast isn't that important."_

 _"Actually breakfast is literally the most important meal of the day," Spencer argued with her. "It has a lot of vitamins and nutrients that most people don't make up for at the end of the day if they miss breakfast."_

 _Brennan kissed him harshly before pulling back. "Stop talking, Boy Wonder," she told him as she dropped to her knees in front of him._

 _Spencer moaned as his eyes rolled back and he gripped the counter to steady himself._

 _Brennan watched with hooded eyes as the unsub held a gun against Spencer's head. Today was supposed to be a normal day at the office, catch up on paperwork, and just have an all out easy day. Until some asshole had to go and hold up a diner, shooting multiple people inside._

 _Reid had gone inside to try and talk him down and the unsub had managed to use him as a hostage. They were now outside the diner as the man was trying to make his way to a waiting car._

 _"Let the agent go," Hotch called out to the man, his gun trained on the unsub's head._

 _"He's my ticket out of here."_

 _Brennan clenched her teeth as she kept her gun on the unsub also. She couldn't think. All that was going through her head was the possibility that the unsub could pull the trigger at any moment and kill Spencer. She didn't want to live without him._

 _"You don't need him. Let him go and we won't pursue you."_

 _The unsub let out a harsh laugh. "You will shoot me the moment that I let him go."_

 _Brennan took her eyes off the unsub for a second and looked to Spencer. Their eyes met and Brennan knew that he was trying to tell her that he loved her. Her whole body froze as a gunshot rang out into the sky. All she could do was stare as slowly the unsub's body fell to the ground, Morgan standing behind him with his gun drawn._

 _She didn't think as she allowed her gun to drop to the ground and she ran towards Spencer. He watched her before wrapping his arms around her as she wrapped her own around his neck. There was no hesitation between the two as their lips touched in an intimate embrace._

 _Brennan ignored the world around her as she pressed herself harder against his body. She thought that she had lost him. In one second her world would have come crashing down on her. She finally pulled back from the kiss, giving him one last chaste one before relaxing her body back down to the ground._

 _"Pr-ee-ee-ty Boy," Morgan said from behind them, his eyebrows slightly raised. "You've been holding out on us, both of you."_

 _Brennan slowly looked around at her teammate's faces. Hotch looked angry, Dave looked slightly amused along with Morgan, Prentiss looked surprised, and JJ just smiled, she was the one who had known about them from the beginning, so it wasn't a shock to her._

 _She pulled her arms free from Spencer's neck and faced Hotch first. "Hotch."_

 _"How long?"_

 _Spencer and her exchanged looks. "A little over a year," he answered looking back at his team leader._

 _"We will discuss this when we're back at the office," Hotch said turning away from the couple._

 _"Congratulations," Morgan said as he slapped Spencer on the back. "Never thought the two of you would be together."_

 _"Because I'm unattractive?"_

 _Morgan shook his head. "No, man, you just lack confidence. It at least explains why she always turned down that beer with me, she had something better waiting for her at home."_

 _Brennan leaned her head on Spencer's chest as he wrapped his arms around her again. The team knew now and the only one who seemed upset by it was Hotch. That was good. Everything would be okay._

Everything was not okay. Brennan could feel herself getting weaker by the day. She always took the torture that was intended for Diana. She couldn't let the elder woman get hurt because of her.

She leaned her head back against the wall, stretching her leg out before wincing as she felt the bones in her knee move. She knew last night that he had broken it. She glanced over at Diana who was still sleeping beside her. Spencer's mom. She would do anything to keep her safe, but at this rate that wasn't going to be something that she could do for long.

The door to the room opened and she watched as Rutledge walked into the room and sat down a small plate of food. "You should eat, you'll need your strength."

Brennan shook her head. "Diana needs it more than I do."

Rutledge shrugged. "Your husband won't get here in time to save you if you don't stay alive long enough for him to."

She just kept looking at him. "I don't want him to come."

"You think you're going to be able to keep him safe and out of this?"

Brennan laughed. "You think I'm trying to keep him safe? You did me a favor, Rutledge. You might have made me lose my baby which I hate you for that, but you also made it so much easier to leave Spencer."

"You didn't want to leave him."

Brennan shook her head at him. "You just don't understand. I spent five years with him. Five years dealing with his OCD and listening to him be a brainiac at every moment. Did you know that he's autistic? Asperger's actually. Do you know how hard it is to live with someone like that, scared to leave because you're in fear that he might do something to himself if you leave. Spencer is nothing but a pansy and I'm glad that we're no longer together."

"You're lying."

"I'm not. Did you also know that he's beginning to show signs of schizophrenia?"

"Then why are you protecting her?"

"She's old. She is no more than a child and at the end of day I am still an FBI agent."

Rutledge's face contorted with anger. "You mean to tell me that you don't give a shit about him?"

"I care more for the dirt on my shoes."

Rutledge let out an angry yell as he left the room.

"Is that all true?"

Brennan looked beside her at Diana, smiling softly at the woman. She laid down beside the older woman and talked softly so that Rutledge wouldn't hear if he was listening.

"There is no one that I love more in this world than Spencer. I'm doing what I need to in order to keep him safe and alive."

Diana frowned at Brennan. "Would he accept just killing me? I'm old."

Brennan shook her head. "He wants to make me suffer, Diana. He's the one that killed our baby."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Brennan answered honestly. "But I'm doing what I can to protect your son."

"And me," Diana said as she gestured at Brennan's bruised and battered body. "You don't have to protect me."

"Yes, I do," Brennan answered her as she kissed her forehead before she sat up on the bed again and winced as her broken leg moved. "I'm going to get us out of this, Diana."

"Is it true what you said about Spencer?"

Brennan sighed. "We just spoke of that, Diana."

Diana shook her head as she sat up also and looked at Brennan's leg. "About Spencer getting schizophrenia. About him becoming like me?"

Brennan pursed her lips as Diana put a pillow under her leg. "Spencer shows some early warning signs, yes, but that doesn't mean that he's going to develop it completely."

"But it's why you didn't want the baby right? Neither of you wanted kids."

Brennan shook her head. "We didn't want kids. Not just because of his family history, but because our job doesn't really provide us with the kind of life that was coherent with having children. But don't get me wrong, Diana, both Spencer and I loved Jennifer and we both very much wanted her."

"Do you still miss her?"

Brennan smiled slightly. "I'll miss her until the day I die. Which may be sooner rather than later if we don't get out of here." She sighed deeply. "I promise you will make it out of here, Diana."

Diana looked at her daughter in law and gave her a small smile.


	8. Chapter 8

_3.5 years ago:_

 _Spencer sat on the couch, waiting for Brennan to get done getting ready. They were going out with Morgan and Garcia to a club, because Brennan thought they needed to go out as a couple more and not just stay in and watch a movie like he had wanted to do._

 _"You know they're going to be here any minute."_

 _"I'm almost done," Brennan called from her bedroom._

 _Spencer looked around her apartment. He had been in it a million times and could tell you where everything was at any given moment. It was, in an essence, her. He looked to the door as it opened and Brennan came out wearing a halter crop top and jeans with boots that went up to her calves. Her red hair was curled and flowing around her shoulders, with just the front pulled back out of her face. His eyes moved over her body settling briefly on her bare stomach before going back up to her face._

 _"What?" Brennan asked as she noticed him watching her._

 _"You're just absolutely beautiful."_

 _Brennan smiled as she moved forward and straddled his lap, kissing him. "Keep giving me compliments like that and we're never going to leave this house."_

 _"I don't want to leave the house anyways," Spencer said as he leaned forward and started kissing along her neck. "I just want to stay in and spend the night doing this."_

 _Brennan gasped as his teeth nipped lightly on her neck. "You're killing me, Spence."_

 _"But such a good way to die."_

 _Brennan chuckled as she kissed him again, her eyes rolling back as his hands expertly squeezed her breasts outside of her shirt. "You've gotten a lot more brazen, Dr. Reid."_

 _"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a redhead." Spencer ran his hands under the back of her shirt, pushing her harder against him. "Come on let's stay in," he muttered as he nibbled her ear, grounding his erection against her._

 _"We can't. We promised Morgan."_

 _"Morgan doesn't need our help getting women."_

 _Brennan kissed him hard. She wanted him. She no longer wanted to go out and party. Staying home sounded like the best idea he had ever had. She groaned loudly as there was a knock on the door._

 _"And that's Morgan and Garcia," she mumbled against his lips. She climbed off of his lap and headed for the door while straightening her clothes. "Later."_

 _"I'm holding you to that," Spencer answered as Brennan opened the door._

 _"You guys ready to go?" Morgan asked as they walked into the room. "Damn, woman, you're looking fine. Trying to find someone to replace him?" He asked jokingly._

 _"Always looking for the greener grass," Brennan said with a laugh._

 _"Look no further," Morgan told her holding out his arms._

 _Brennan pushed him away and grabbed her keys. "I'd sleep with Penelope first, Derek."_

 _"And turn me right on," Garcia said as she hugged Brennan._

 _Brennan kissed her cheek as she grabbed her purse off of the counter and motioned to Spencer. "Come along, baby, or else I might have to take one of them up on their offer."_

 _Spencer pursed his lips as he got up, his hand going around Brennan's waist as he caught up to her._

 _"So where are we going?" Brennan asked as she started up her car and glanced in the mirror at Derek and Garcia._

 _"I have us reservations at Bar 21."_

 _She looked back at Morgan. "Reservations?"_

 _He shrugged. "It's exclusive."_

 _Brennan raised her eyebrows as she started down the street. "Okay Mr. Fancypants." She turned on her radio and started moving to Party in the USA that was playing._

 _"Okay now, what kind of white girl shit is this music?"_

 _Brennan laughed. "Do you have something better we should listen to?"_

 _"No, I like this song," Garcia said from the backseat._

 _"Overruled," Brennan replied as she drove to the club across town._

 _Derek rolled his eyes as he continued to listen to a string of Miley Cyrus, and Taylor Swift, and every other teen singer there was out there. She parked behind the club and climbed out of the car, locking hands with Spencer as they followed behind Derek to the entrance._

 _"I wanna dance," Brennan told Spencer as soon as they were inside. "Order me a beer?" She asked behind him to Derek._

 _"Beer, woman? You need better taste."_

 _"I think my taste is impeccable."_

 _She pulled Spencer out onto the floor and started to dance with him, watching him for his usual signs of discomfort. He was moving with her, but Brennan could tell that he wasn't really enjoying himself. She moved forward and pressed her lips to the pulse point on his neck._

 _"Let me have this night and I promise you a really nice surprise when we get home."_

 _"You've already promised sex, not sure what more you have to offer."_

 _"Plenty," Brennan said as she pulled away again and started moving to the music once more._

 _"Let's dance," a man said as he came up behind Brennan, his hand on her shoulder._

 _"I'm already dancing." She brushed his hand off of her shoulder._

 _"With this skinny prick. You can do so much better than him," he countered as he grabbed her waist._

 _Brennan turned quickly as her leg came up and knocked his hand off of her. "Excuse me? Who are you to tell me who I should be with? I'll have you know that it's him that could do better than me, not the other way around, asshole. Now leave before I have you arrested for assault."_

 _"Actually the definition of assault is a threat to initiate unwanted physical contact or harm to another person, so technically it was assault." Spencer stepped up next to Brennan. "So, you did actually assault her."_

 _"What are you a walking dictionary?"_

 _"What are you a dumbass?" Brennan retorted as she took a step forward. "I'm an FBI agent. I would back down."_

 _"Then where's your badge, Miss FBI agent?"_

 _Spencer effortlessly pulled his out. "Hers is in her purse. Any more questions?"_

 _The man looked over the badge before he turned and walked away. Spencer turned to look at Brennan before he sighed and headed to the bar. Brennan pursed her lips as she followed him. There was a reason that they spent most of their time at home. Almost every time they went out someone tried to hit on Brennan and she knew that it made him feel insecure._

 _"I love you," she said as she sat in the chair beside him._

 _He doesn't have time to answer her as their phones go off. Brennan dug her phone out of her purse before frowning slightly at the message on the screen._

 _"So much for a night off," Derek said as he threw some bills on the bar and they headed out of the club._

 _"You drive," Brennan said as she threw him her keys._

 _"Why aren't you driving?"_

 _Brennan gestured toward her outfit. "I don't really think I'm wearing work approved clothes, do you? My go bag is in the car."_

 _Morgan and Garcia climbed into the front of the SUV as Brennan and Spencer sat in the back. Spencer watched as she fumbled around in the back before pulling her go bag up and grabbing a different shirt and pair of shoes._

 _"Don't you dare look in that mirror, Derek, or I will shoot you." Spencer said as Brennan started to get changed._

 _"Wouldn't dream of it, pretty boy," Derek commented as he kept driving to the office. "So what was that altercation with that guy?"_

 _"Just another one of Brennan's followers."_

 _Brennan glanced at him as she pulled her new shirt on and started working on her shoes. "I can't help how I look."_

 _"I know," Spencer replied. "That's mostly your dad's fault since that's where daughters get the majority of their genes from."_

 _"Spence."_

 _"We'll talk later, Brennan," he replied as he got out of the car as Derek parked it._

 _"Everything okay?" Garcia asked as she looked back at him._

 _Brennan sighed as she looked at the woman. "I don't know," she answered honestly as she climbed out of the car as_ well.

Spencer frowned as he looked at the board in front of him. Brennan had been staying at the Four Seasons, then she had gone to the police station to talk to her partner, then from there she went to the bar with him and it was the last time she had been seen.

"We need to go back to the bar where she went with Parker."

"Why?" Hotch asked as he looked at Spencer.

"Brennan has this attraction to her," he replied as he turned to look at the team. "We used to get in arguments about it because she always had someone hitting on her no matter where we went. Someone at that bar would have seen something simply because they would have noticed Brennan. Either the bartender or even just a patron. This is how we're going to find out where she went from there."

"Are you really saying that Brennan is so attractive that men stare at her?" Rossi asked frowning at the man.

"You don't see it because you're her dad, but attractiveness is a natural response in males towards a beautiful woman. Brennan is perfectly symmetrical." He frowned as no one responded. "Men notice symmetry in faces, it's what makes them want to mate. Even Morgan looked at her as she walked away every time."

"Morgan looks at every woman when they walk away," JJ said as she nudged the man.

"Okay, Reid, Morgan, go to the bar, we're going to go to the station and see if Brennan spoke with any of he old coworkers other than her partner."

Reid nodded as he started to leave before stopping as Rossi put a hand on his shoulder.

"Is that what you see in her? Symmetry?"

Spencer looked at the man and shook his head. "I've always loved your daughter for a lot more than her looks. The way she's taking care of my mother right now while her own life is on the line, that's why I love your daughter." He turned and followed Morgan out of the room.

"You really doubt his love for her?" Emily asked as she walked up behind him.

"No," Rossi said with a smile. "I just like to remind myself every now and again what a great guy she married."

Emily laughed as they started to get ready to go to the station.

Spencer and Derek entered the bar and headed to the bartender. It was all Spencer could do to keep from sneezing. There was a reason he never went to bars. All you could smell were the cigarettes and alcohol reeking from the place.

"FBI. Were you working last Friday at around 8pm?" Derek asked the bartender.

"I work every night," the guy said as he kept wiping the bar. "I own the place."

"We're looking for someone who was here around that time."

"Got a picture?"

Spencer pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped to a picture of him and Brennan. He turned it around to show the man. "Her name is Brennan Reid."

"I know her. Though you'll probably get more information out of that guy." The bartender gestured to a man sitting a few seats away.

"Who's that?" Reid asked the bartender.

"That's the ex," Morgan said as he turned back to the bartender. "Did she leave with him?"

The bartender sighed and nodded. "Yeah, they came in together around 8-8:30 and left about an hour later. She wasn't feeling well if I remember right, had gone to the bathroom looking flush and came back out then they left. He has half dragging her out."

Spencer pursed his lips before he moved purposefully toward the ex-partner. "What did you do drug her because she wouldn't sleep with you?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You know who I am and who I'm looking for," Spencer bit out as he dropped his phone on the bar in front of the man. "What did you do to her?"

"Ah, you're the boyfriend."

"I'm the husband."

The ex raised his eyebrows as he took another drink of his beer. "So she finally settled down. Never thought she would be one to stick to one man." He nodded towards Spencer's wedding band. "But you're wearing a ring and she wasn't. Guess she wasn't as committed to the relationship as you were."

Spencer grabbed the man's chair and leaned close to his face, ignoring Morgan telling him to calm down. "Where is Brennan? You left the bar with her. She was sick. Where is she?"

"I don't know what the old fool told you, but like I told your partner, we had a drink, reminisced about some old times and went back to my place. She was gone in the morning. That's no unlike her."

"It's extremely unlike her," Spencer answered the man. "Brennan doesn't sleep around and she never has."

The cop sitting opposite of Spencer leaned back slightly. "And you know that from the little amount of time you spent together? I worked with Brennan for ten years. Fucked her for over half of them. Tell me, husband, she still like sucking cock as much as she did?"

Spencer didn't think as he drew his hand back and punched Brennan's ex, his hand connecting with hard bone that he felt give away as his knuckles hit it.

"Reid!" Morgan yelled as he grabbed Spencer's shoulders and pulled him away. "What are you doing?"

"He knows what happened to her!" Spencer told him as he waved his hand in the air.

"Go cool off. Now!" He exclaimed as Spencer started to argue.

Spencer looked back at the cop who was holding his bloody nose before he stormed off through the bar and went outside of the bar. He waved his hand in the cool air trying to get the stinging to stop. Finally, he leaned his head against the wall of the building to try and calm himself.

He knew he lost his composure in there, but he couldn't continue to sit there and listen to him lie. Brennan had told him everything about her past and how she had been with that controlling, manipulative creep out of fear and a sense of loyalty. Until the day he hit her. That was the day she packed up and moved in with her dad in Virginia, then less than two weeks later she was started at the BAU and they met.

"Spencer Reid?"

"What?" He said harsher than he intended as he turned around.

Searing red hot pain. He felt the bullet connect with his skin, heard the gunshot go off. Felt the hard ground beneath him. Then nothing, nothing but blackness and cold.


End file.
